Helen suggested it and I can appreciate the value of one for future historians and research professionals in Social History. Hell, maybe it will provide the basis of someone's thesis some day. So here is how and what I remember most.I remember thinking out loud, "I was supposed to get Tenure, damn it. Three books in addition to my PH.D thesis, lectures around the country, and a shot at the Women's Studies chair at the University of Chicago, and the damn Lottery notice came. How the hell can that happen?"It is one hell of a Monday morning when you get this notice. The first thing you do is get angry. Then you deny it. And Denial means you look up your name against the posted list with the Population Control board. Not good. There I was. All the personal information including, SSID, and my personal contact information of record.Well, so much for anger and denial. Now I can look at bargaining. I reach out to the Dean of Woman's programs and her secretary tells me I can't possibly get on. ’ Putting down the phone and walking into his bedroom he stopped at the door, the pain starting in his heart as he saw the open wardrobe, gaps where her clothes used to be. Drawers were open and the top of the dressing table, usually covered in her mess of makeup and bottles of perfume was now empty. The simple proof of his loss started the tears to fall, and he sunk down on the edge of the bed and cried. Cried for himself, cried for her and for what he wished for and planned for that would never be. * John put down the beer in front of Misha in the bar, the noise swirling around them. ‘You’re better off Misha without her. She’s on a downward spiral. One you can’t afford to go down with her…..you know that don’t you?’ Picking up the glass and taking a long drink of the cold golden liquid he replied, ‘I failed her John…..I love her and I couldn’t help her.’ ‘Misha no one could help her…she didn’t want it. She’s addicted to the stuff and that is more powerful than anything you can offer.
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